Isolation

I don’t know what the statistics are, but people often associate the homeless with mental illness. Having gone through my own path towards homelessness, I have become increasingly convinced that people aren’t homeless because they are mentally ill. They are mentally ill because they are homeless. I have truly believed this, and now there is […]

A Petition to Sign

Not up to writing much today. Emotionally spent. But wanted to post a petition that I created a while back in regards to the denial of disability accommodations by the Bellingham Housing Authority and Dept. of Housing and Urban Development. Perhaps if anyone reads this blog, they will be willing to read and sign the […]

Anesthesia

Had to have my 20-year-old cat put down today. Not unexpected, but the loss itself, no less painful. In fact, it left an emptiness beyond what I had anticipated. He, Neptune, had been with me through so much of my life. Wow, nearly half of it. He was there when my life was good. When […]

If only

Spent much of the afternoon daydreaming. A fantasy of finally having enough money to be normal again; to pursue some goals and purpose again; to feel like part of society again. I imagined the fear gone; the tension; the constant adrenalin and disconnect from reality. I felt the strain leave the muscles in my face […]

Sinking in (or just sinking)

I’ve been having to battle the inclination to believe that this will just resolve itself – or that it is already resolved. It’s almost a subconscious thing; not like I’m consciously saying to myself “everything will turn out fine”. But I catch these thoughts, or attitudes, in the back of my mind that keep steering […]

An indescribable grief

It’s becoming more difficult to write about what’s happening. My first couple postings were actually therapeutic. And were also the first time in a long while that writing about it was. I haven’t been able to write or talk about it for quite some time. The result has been more detrimental than helpful. There is […]

Close to the edge

In some ways, this country is not really much different than many other countries. It kills some of its people too. It just does so in a way that is more insidious. I heard a report yesterday on NPR about similar problems in Spain with evictions (hell, it seems to be a global problem these […]